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4 Reasons Why You Should Talk Money with Your Fiancé

Your Finances
July 27, 2020

Money is one of the top reasons why strong marriages end in divorce. Unfortunately, it’s a topic that plenty of married couples have trouble discussing! It’s incredibly important to be on the same page as your spouse even before tying the knot to ensure that you start strong.

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“Money, sex, and family,” a dear friend told me. “These are the three horsemen of divorce; the top three reasons why marriages fail. Keep a watchful eye out for those three.”

Money is an undeniably important part of surviving and thriving in today’s society, but the amount of control our finances have over our lives, and general happiness is incomparable. It’s no wonder Ramsey Solutions found that money is the second-highest-ranking reason that couples get divorced today!

My friend’s timely advice was incredibly wise. 

As my wife and I were preparing to get married, and even during our first few years together, money was a constant conversation. By keeping that line of communication open, we’ve been able to navigate through tons of otherwise difficult situations. 

Opening up a dialogue with your partner about your financial lives can be intimidating, but the benefits of talking through your finances together are something you don’t want to miss out on.

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1. Avoid surprises and unnecessary financial stress.

Believe it or not, more than two-thirds of all marriages start in debt according to the same Ramsey Solutions study. Student loan debt is being classified as a crisis by organizations like CNBC. Money-related anxieties are all too common amongst millennials and younger generations. 

These anxieties are ones that don’t have to be faced alone. Confronting your debt head-on with your spouse has proven to be a more effective way of reducing your financial burden and easing the burden of debt-related stress. 

Through discussing what kind of financial baggage you and your partner-to-be are bringing to the table, you’ll find yourselves more prepared (and less shocked) when it comes to managing your money. 

2. Find clarity in understanding each other’s spending habits.

Are you a spender, or are you a saver? In other words, does your money seem to flow out of the bank as soon as arrives, or are you saving each month?

These extremely important questions allow you to identify important patterns in your financial life. Moreover, it’s important to know which category your partner falls into!

69% of Americans have less than $1,000 saved (according to a study by GOBankingRates) despite savings tools becoming easier and more automated. If you’re both spenders, setting up some automatic, recurring savings measures can be a lifesaver when it comes to ensuring that you’re planning for the future. 

If you’re a saver marrying a spender, you might feel the need to watch over the family’s bank account. A monthly spending limit or personal allowance for both you and your spouse takes some of the stress away from watching money flow out your account!

Photo by Robert Bye on Unsplash.

3. Achieving goals together strengthens your relationship.

Our brains are naturally wired to enjoy achieving goals. 

Whenever we identify and achieve a set goal — whether it’s personal, career-related, or financial — our brains release a burst of the hormone called Dopamine.

Here’s the best part: according to the Harvard Business Review, talking about goals with your spouse and writing them down improves your odds of success. Did you catch that? Just by having a conversation with your spouse about your financial goals means that you’ll be statistically more likely to reach them.

Creating goals together means that you’re more likely to hold each other accountable. Shared success can do wonders for any relationship. Not only does the brain release dopamine when goals are achieved, but your relationship will also grow during the journey together. 

4. Creating a budget brings peace of mind.

Have you ever reached the end of the month, checked your bank account, and wondered where all your money disappeared to?

If this has happened to you before, you’re not alone. Even for married couples, budgeting is one of the most important financial practices for a successful financial life. Budgeting reduces stress, improves your financial health, and helps you track and plan for your life instead of feeling uncertain.

There are tons of helpful budgeting tools out there, which are completely free! Tools like YNAB, EveryDollar, and Mint are great places to start building your budget together.

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